How Does An American Girl Find A Date In India

[GinaMax]

Please do not laugh at me. I am just a little curious as to how a woman would find themselves a good date in India. I am a very strong minded woman, but I am also very shy on the uptake. I travel alone, but I hate being alone all the time. I like meeting locals. I am just kind of curious what a date is like in India. I am guessing that there are cultural differences, and I would hate to offend someone without knowing it.

First, how do I choose a guy. Someone who is safe and I can trust wont intend to harm me?
Second, how do I get him to ask me out, are there any cultural cues I need to know?
Third, how is a women expected to act? Can I pay, do I offer, do I not offer, does he pay?

I am not looking for a travel partner, or anything like that. I just wanna see what Indian men are like in their natural habitat.

How does dating in India work?

 

[Chanterelle]

Hi Gina, are you asking about romantic dating? As in short term because you are going to be traveling through? Or are you mainly looking to meet and socialise with local people? If it's the first you could join an online dating site early and chat to a few people before you arrive. If it's more a social outlet you want I recommend Couchsurfing. There are lots of people on the site who are happy to meet travelers for dinner, coffee and so on.

 

[MarilynB]

That's an interesting question, Ginamax. You've peaked my curiosity and now I'd like to know the answer. I have a feeling dating in India is just like everywhere else.

I've never heard of Couchsurfing, Chanterelle. I'm not sure how safe it would be to go meet someone in another country for dinner or coffee, but it is an interesting concept.

 

[Arabella Seebaluck]

Haa! There's something I have had been dabbing into for a few months... and my experience as the Indian-looking 'firangi' (foreigner) is that am still a 'firangi' in their mind... and that entails a number of things, from the really gentlemanly type who wants to know you as a person and know the cultural differences, to the one looking for a thrilling fling with a foreigner and will take no gloves in making you understand that.

The advice to chat with a few on dating sites is good, but a Firangi on an Indian app would get you way more attention than you desire, so try out the 'one' where you swipe.. it gives you the chance to sort of pre-agree to the chatting. Also, Indian men are extremely sweet and can be very romantic. It can be confusing as making you feel, wow he's really into me!! Expect some to tell you they love you on the first day.. unfortunately, the term here often indicates 'like'... and it can be confusing to a vulnerable or gullible soul... (yes fell into that trap). The more wordly ones will ask you for a date, others will need a little push. Meet somewhere public and be very clear about what you are expecting. I would be very careful to meet people outside of my comfort zone. I haven't done so yet, that is outside of somewhere public and somewhere I could get myself back to safety pretty quickly. Sounds daunting, but there are horror stories everywhere in the world and I would apply the same principle elsewhere.

You can inbox me if you would like more details

 

[GinaMax]

Wow, thank you for the helpful post @Arabella Seebaluck . I am glad you warned me about the possibility of a man saying I love you on a first date. That is the sort of thing that would usually send me running, now I will know to take that romantic stuff with a grain of salt. I think you are right about only meeting in public, and being very clear upfront. I am not looking for love or a one night stand. I am just curious about the cultural differences of romance.

 

[Arabella Seebaluck]

" I am not looking for love or a one night stand." ... then I think you will find the middle ground extremely difficult to find. I haven't so far... so I have just ended up making friends. It's then perhaps best you don't mention anything about a date... because I am beginning to understand the ones on dating sites would tend to take 'date' as a 'hookup'... See, as you know, terms in different countries will mean different things... and in India, this will depend on how fluent the people you speak to are. So, be very clear and also ask them to be clear if you don't understand what they want and/or are offering.

 

[GinaMax]

I suppose that is a good example of cultural differences, or of course perhaps it is just a different of the sexes when it comes to the meaning of the word date. Perhaps it would be best to leave the word dating out of it. Of course then I won't get to see what a real indian date is like, unless I just try to watch other peoples dates, which could be weird.

 

[Arabella Seebaluck]

I suppose that is a good example of cultural differences, or of course perhaps it is just a different of the sexes when it comes to the meaning of the word date. Perhaps it would be best to leave the word dating out of it. Of course then I won't get to see what a real indian date is like, unless I just try to watch other peoples dates, which could be weird.

Hahaha... you can tag along to my weird ones anytime! LOL

 

[Arabella Seebaluck]

And by the way... by all means try the swiping. One thing about Indian guys is that they are lovely... so for all you know, you'd make a good friend or two.

 

[Chanterelle]

Gina, so you want the experience of a date with an Indian guy but are not looking for love/a one night stand so basically no romantic intentions? I think you'd be best off asking an Indian female friend to set that up, as guys on dating apps are going to (quite naturally) think you are looking for a relationship of some kind.

,

 

[GinaMax]

@Chanterelle you may me right. I do have a couple of female friends in India. We are not super close, but I feel that I can trust them. Perhaps they would be the wisest when it comes to choosing a date, one with no romantic intentions. I would not want to get a mans hopes up when I know that I am not ready for a relationship!

 

[Seraphina]

An Indian woman may be able to better convey to a guy what you are looking for. It's kind of sad that the word "date" has come to mean so many different things to people. Gina probably just wants a guy to treat her like they're on a date, getting to know each other and curious to see if there is a spark, without any assumptions involving an immediate serious physical relationship.

 

[GinaMax]

@Seraphina that is exatally what I want. Thank you for putting that into words. I have been trying to explain it an you hit the nail on the head. I cant find that spark anywhere around here, and with hoe big the planet is, and how many people are on it, it makes me wonder if my soul mate is far away. With that said, I want to be on a classic date, with no expectations, but for there to be an opportunity to see if there is a spark. I don't like assumptions, and I need a man who feels the same. Maybe though, if I expand my mind, by dating men while I travel, I will find out why I cant seem to find Mr. Right.

 

[Jessica_91]

Expect some to tell you they love you on the first day.. unfortunately, the term here often indicates 'like'... and it can be confusing to a vulnerable or gullible soul... (yes fell into that trap).

Ha ha ha I have had at least 5 different guys saying that to me over a drink and it was not even a date, just random guys asking me if they could buy me a drink.

 

[Arabella Seebaluck]

@Seraphina that is exatally what I want. Thank you for putting that into words. I have been trying to explain it an you hit the nail on the head. I cant find that spark anywhere around here, and with hoe big the planet is, and how many people are on it, it makes me wonder if my soul mate is far away. With that said, I want to be on a classic date, with no expectations, but for there to be an opportunity to see if there is a spark. I don't like assumptions, and I need a man who feels the same. Maybe though, if I expand my mind, by dating men while I travel, I will find out why I cant seem to find Mr. Right.

Practically impossible to find here! That is the hardest thing I have found here. It's either they will assume you want marriage or only sex... there is no in between. You find that gem, do ask him if he has a brother or cousin

 

[OursIsTheFury]

Maybe try a local bar or club if you're into that? But mostly, to be honest, you don't need a place to go and meet people. It just happens. You could be in a bookstore, a supermarket, or even at a train station. That's the best thing about looking for someone though. You get to be surprised when it actually happens, because it literally can strike anywhere like lightning from the sky. Good luck, and I hope you don't meet a creep or something!

 

[Elaine Lat]

Ah yes, the dating game. I've also noticed how handsome Indian men can be. I think it's the same with everywhere. You could meet them wherever a normal guy can be found. Maybe they'd be a bit hesitant with foreign women I guess but don't lose heart. Striking a conversation about a certain topic could get them talking. I think there are still matchmakers in India but I have no idea if most of the population seek the help of such or just a minority of them.

 

[PerhapsIndia]

Glad I don't have this problem...I just like...talk to girls. Pretty easy to see where it's going from there and be like "hey let's go do blahblahblah blah right now," maybe try that? idk, works for me.

 

[CaptainOblivious]

I am kind of surprised that no one has mentioned Tinder here yet, especially in the Indian context where it is less of a hookup app and more of a dating social app. I believe you can have some good finds on there if you're willing to deal with some creeps. If that not your cup of tea, maybe just hang out in some of the more upmarket areas of the city (for example HKV in Delhi) and you should have some luck.

Best